day by day

๐Ÿ‚ NOVEMBER 2025๐Ÿ‚

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mental health going downhilll and so did my ability to do my assignments!!!

2

fucking hell we're back here again (poor mental health longg before period is supposed to start. and of course very close to when parents will be in town!).

9-6 buttfugly evil.

had a disapointing dream about getting front row seats at an mcr show that ended up being a weird alien musical production Gerard wrote. But at least my mcr shirt was slightly ufo-related for some reason. Still a confusing let down lmao.

Cried in the kitchen while Brooke and Clancy were on the couch, made (3oz raw) of sliced criminis and ate them all (the sound of them sizzling gave me peace for a moment), vague-vented on my spam story, got poetic, beat myself to a pulp (lol) quietly.

3

Truly the most epic of crashouts in recent history in the evening of last night led to me making some decisions today and getting things back on track today (for the most part). :)!

1.I am going to be Social Media VP next semester.

2.My advising appointment went awesome and I will NOT take an art studio even tho my goat kind of wants to (grass is greener).

3.I probably singlehandedly saved the 441 negotiation project by calling out of work (3 hours before and it went very well and Madi is kind!!) and talking to Jeff in his office about it all.

4.Had a GOOD call with eryn :)

5. done with hw at midnight idc about the stuff that'll let me do it late

4

First negotiation was survived but whoo boy again on thursday? eep! Happy Vanitas reception day!! powdered donut... eryn has yet to tell me how their hangout with Mar went but I am excited for them :)

But good fucking god how is tmr wednesday??? keep thinking it's thursday tomorrow

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2nd negotiation

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happy 38 months!!!

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3rd negotiation

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:)

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wednesday

13

4th and final negotiation! Ava was kind of mean but we got it done and Finley apologized for her group afterwards which was sweet.

14

Big day of suppies and work and failGarden and sleep and such<3 felt drunk with no drink needed and had a lot of fun. bruised knee + shin hella lol

15

Laundry and suppies cutting silas's hair! Started listening to Braiding Sweetgrass and got very heartfelt. Listening to an Eryn + sib doodle and it's quite lovely<3333. Beautiful baked sweet potato

16

I fucking worked today??

17

yay monday fucked UP. stocked ice like a pro until 3 bags broke in a row and got shit everywhere and started melting and I had to leave Amanda and Zane to clean it up omg

18

Period started! A little crampier than normal (not bad though) and body was so exhausted I slept from like 2:30-7:30. First class was only required one and it was cringy contract presentations. Went to sky's bday today i think ? at Persephone's and it sucked (to be expected lol) with a bunch of people we didn't know and weird seating arrangements. Fun to walk back home w simon + brooke + anna though and get validated on how much it sucked. Nobody was mean at the event though which was very good and important. :) It was nice to see Sky happy and in her weird-ass element for once.

19

Visited Kaden at work and it was fun. I followed him around to clock sweeps and clock out and talked to Madi. I also bought bananas and carrots and chocolate bar for Eryn's package. We looked at each other's cars and fistbump-dapped-up, and even though I messed it up at the end it was still crisp and we laughed.

20

Started putting xmas stuff up with Brooke!! awesome awesome no screen-time hangout with I-SPY TAROT and then more I-SPY TAROT ft. Clancy. The Clown came up a 4th time and proved us right abt tarot validity and magic lol. Eryn and I's cards mentioned big poly.

21

I think I slept in hella and needed to have an adventure so I visited the Hope Center + the little mall. Tried on glasses and took pics of gifts for eryn. Went over to the boys' house and it was FUN until simon and jackson left to get food without clancy and he went into his pickle jar instantly. We still stayed for a bit but it was badd and brooke fell asleep lmao. We did play some cod though and it was nice to do that again for the first time in a long time. Danced on a STOOL with brooke and clancy surrounding me like little monkeys and it was fucking awesome.

22

Downtown adventure with Brooke after she was done with work!! Clancy didn't text her a lot and it was sad. He said FREAK and such and then showed up later with cookies as an apology? But it was with David and they were saying goodbye before they left before break and Brooke had thought she'd get to hang out and fix the vibes :(. Very sad so we hung out and watched fun things on the TV and giggled. Everything was calm and quiet and quick and nice. Went to bed around 3:00 or 3:30.

23

Left for Boise around 1pm!! We did it folks. Went to in n out burger and then ate it at Bonnie's house, which was beautiful other than my hangover-ass-stomach killing the mood. Chilling made me feel slightly better but went to sleep around 3:00. Diamond in full control.

24

Woke up for real to Jamma ringing the doorbell to take Mila out to lunch. Very sweet! Puttered around and wrote 4 pages (+overlap) and burnt it in the backyard with September and my green lighter that started sparking at the end (all used up maybe?). I took a shower and then went over to J&P's and had taco + burrito + plain crunchy sugar cookie + mini tj's strawberry chocolate cone. Stomach was considerably better. Tried Fredmeyers and Walmart for Shoe Goo with no luck. Was in bed by midnight or so but stayed up later on the phone. NO connection to Eryn. Diamond.

25

Runway + village outing with Brooke! Almost got a $40 black slip dress lol but did NOT. We went into a place called 1st Miracle that had charlie kirk stickers lmao. Mom and Dad got home later and i had no patience for Dad but Mom didn't share my sympathies so I think it was just me. Getting less evil in some ways and more in others each day. New realizations every hour tbh. I think I finally reached the end of my period wet-spotting. Can't tell if Diamond is waning or not but I'm feeling more and more like I'm grasping at the world. Designed some bags on Canva from fabric in the house and hypothetical eyelets. It's 3:45 boise time now and I'm dreading the morning where I must return shoes and go shopping and be social and drive and the like!! But this narrative is my own. :) Yes

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